As I write this, it is difficult to get the theme song to the television show out of my mind, but it is good writing background motivation. Although, I will admit that the idea of taking the good and the bad that comes our way is part of learning the facts of life.
It is accepting that things are not always going to go your way, that sometimes your greatest lessons are the hardest learned. That you will fail many more times than you will succeed, but that will make the success all that much sweeter. That you will not always get everything you want in life, but you will typically get what you need. That your problems are not as unique as you might think, even though you feel like no one could understand how different yours are.
While this may sound disappointing or depressing, I hope you will learn that these facts of life have a way of shaping us into stronger and more successful people than we may have been, had we not learned the lessons associated with them.
The Facts of Life That People Struggle With
1.) Accepting that things are not always going to go your way
We all have our goals and dreams in life. We work hard to achieve them, we put in extra hours, and try to be as creative as possible to get ahead.
The hard truth, things are not always going to go our way. Life is going to throw us a series of curve balls, and unexpected turns that we never saw coming our way.
It can be disheartening, and many people would give up, but not everyone. The strong, the driven, and the people who truly believe in themselves and their goals will get up, dust themselves off, and try again.
More times than not, when they keep trying, they end up succeeding. Success has a funny way of building upon itself, and you have already proven that you have taken the things that have not gone your way, and found a way to still come out on top through perseverance and the lessons you learned.
2.) Sometimes the greatest lessons are the hardest learned
Some lessons in life seem simple. We pay attention, we practice, and we master a skills or a task. Other lessons are not so easy. They are learned by being told, “No.” They are learned by being evaluated and told how we can improve, when we thought we were doing fine.
When we learn we were passed over for the promotion, even though we thought we had a solid chance. These are difficult and hard things to hear.
Again, we are at that cross roads, where we can decide to sit and stew over things not going the way we were taught they would, or we can take the feedback we have been given, and integrate it to become a stronger person than we were before.
If we are willing to learn the lessons, to ask the hard questions, to inquire for feedback, we create opportunities for ourselves to become far more talented than we were before.
Ask for feedback on why you did not get the job. Integrate the areas that were low on your evaluation. Ask your partner how you can better communicate with them, so that things do not always end in fights. All of these changes will make you more well-rounded and achieving.
3.) You will fail many more times than you will succeed
Some of the greatest successes in life have been accomplished by those, who just like you, have failed far more than they have won. They have had epic failures, they have cried, been embarrassed, and questioned if they had chosen the right calling.
The difference is they knew that they had, and they were willing to put whatever time, effort, and practice in that they needed to in order to come out on top.
In your life, if you are keeping a running tally, you will fail more than you will succeed, no matter how skilled you are. The difference is you dust yourself off, and you try, and try again. You decide your limitations or if you are limitless. Which will it be?
Will you stay stuck where you are because you have been knocked down, or will you move higher up the ladder than you ever thought possible because you never gave up, and kept pushing yourself?
4.) You will not always get everything you want in life, but you will get what you need
No saying could be truer than that. In life there are many things that we want, there may even be things that we think we need, but are truly just wants. The list of things we need in life is far shorter than we might automatically think.
When we strip away the enjoyments, the luxuries, the frivolous spending, we find out that it takes very little to meet our needs. Even our definition of wants and needs may be what is causing us turmoil. Do you need the new iPad, or do you need the support and time of your loved ones?
There are going to be many times that we consider not being able to get something that we want as a loss, but when we are honest with ourselves and realize it was not actually a need, it becomes much more palatable.
One of the greatest things that we can do for ourselves is to sit down and give a long and hard thought to the things in our life that truly sustain us, and those that are indulgences.
When we are honest with ourselves about these things, we become much more grateful for what we have, and much more able to let things go that we are unable to have at any given moment.
5.) Your problems are not as unique as you think, even though you feel no one can understand them
This fact of life is one that I have come across in my work as a Psychologist often. People are afraid to talk about their concerns or issues, as they think no one will understand them.
They think they are so unique, and so different than others, that people would think they were a freak if they really knew the issues they are struggling with.
The fact of life is that this is not very likely. If you would actually talk to someone about your issue, you might find out that it is far more normal than you had thought. You might even find out that many if not most people have felt this way, or experienced something similar.
The knowledge that others have felt the same way, had the same struggles, or shared the same thoughts can be exceptionally reassuring. It can be so reassuring, that you feel a sense of normalcy and connectedness that you never have before.
This is a healing and empowering feeling. If people have walked in your shoes before, it means they have survived, and they have succeeded. If they have, so can you.